I used to be enthusiastic about writing this blog. I used to be enthusiastic about the program, about being here, about training. Much of is dormant or gone. Hidden under other responsibilities, the stress of balancing said responsibilities on top of the training objectives and personal goals, insomnia, feelings of frustration, feelings of unfairness, dealing with injuries that are probably a permanent part of my life, the list continues.
I’m forever grateful for friends and family who have supported me from the beginning. I’m well aware that some of you didn’t think it was a good idea. Some were blatantly vocal while others told me subtly through encouraging words lined with doubt in their tone or expressions. I don’t blame anyone for expressing their opinions. On the contrary, I respect you for being open and honest, even if it was subtle. If you didn’t agree with my choice, you were concerned with my well being and I value that. The fact that you encouraged me regardless of your doubt touches me more. You believed that I could succeed (whatever that means) or at least survive. One of the purposes of this blog was to share my experiences with my supporters. I owed you this at the very least. Another was to share what I learned on the technical side.
On the technical side, well, 1) What do I have to share that hasn’t been shared already? I’ve been here for almost 5 years, but there are many others with far more experience and knowledge. In comparison, what do I know? Sure, everyone has something to offer that may be of value to someone. I will continue to share by teaching. That was one of my original goals since before the program and it hasn’t changed.
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